Through the Looking Glass
by Lukercy-Lover-Forever
Summary: I know what everyone says about me. But I'm not a monster. Really,I'm not.


I can understand why people say the things they do about me.

I can also understand why someone would hate me.

But that doesn't mean it hurts any less.

Sure, I pretend that their words don't bother me or hurt me.

But I'm only lying to myself. Their words hit me hard.

Everyone knows me as the rich ass who's constantly putting people down.

Sure, I can be mean and cold to people when they're only trying to help me. And yeah, my words can really hurt someone.

But people have to understand I don't mean half the things I say. Really, I'm being honest here.

I know what you're saying.

I'm just a spoiled boy who hurts everyone that has tried to help me in my life.

I never wanted to be like this; I had dreams like everyone else did. I was going to save my brother from the orphanage but it came with a price; a price that really hurt me.

Gozaburo was the one who taught me to be the person that I am today.

I resent him.

He taught me to be cold, to not care for others, to hate the world. I never wanted these lessons he taught me to stick with me my whole life. But it's hard to ignore them after they were beat into you.

Yeah, my step-father abused me; and I'm sure you could care less about this. But that's why the lessons have stuck to me for so long.

I can't erase my past.

I can't erase my scars.

Sure, I pretend that my past doesn't hurt me; I pretend to only look to the future. But I'm just bluffing.

I tried to change during those years Yugi and his nerd squad was around.

They made me want to change who I was.

But I just ended up pushing them all away when they tried to help me.

See, here's the thing, I was taught to push people away when they got too close.

Friends are a weakness; they only hinder you and bring around your demise.

I wanted to believe Yugi every time he wanted to help me; every time he wanted to be my friend.

But I just pushed him away like everyone else.

I regret doing that now. I finally understand that I should've taken his friendship.

It's too late now.

I can accept that I'll be alone.

It doesn't hurt me like it used to.

The times I realize I'm alone happen mainly when I wake from my sleep.

The nightmares hunt me but you get used to them.

Remember when I always said I never believed in that Egyptian magic stuff?

Well, I lied.

I know all about it.

I know that I was the High Priest of Egypt. I was trusted by Atem, the Pharaoh who was my cousin at the time.

I also remember Kisara and how she sacrificed her own life for my own. Pretty unbelievable, huh?

Then I remember my father at that time.

I guess I always had daddy issues.

But why am I telling you this?

I obviously don't care what people think of me.

But, see, the fact is, I'm lonely.

Sure, I have my younger brother, Mokuba, but he has his own friends now. He has his own life.

And I'm still the same cold-hearted bastard I used to be.

I accept that I can't change who I am.

I now know that I never can.

And don't try to tell me that everyone can change.

Because, truth be told, I'm not like everyone.

I've tried so many times in my life to change who I am.

But I always fail in my attempts.

Wait, I'm getting off task now.

Where was I?

Ah, why am I telling you this?

I'm telling this, as I said, that I'm lonely.

But there's more to it than that.

No one's really bothered to look past my mask; to break down my walls.

Yeah, you can tell me that Yugi and his groups of nerds tried to.

I know they did but eventually they all gave up.

They thought I was a loss cause, which I really am.

I have so many walls built around me, so many masks that I have built.

No one can tear them down.

Maybe I don't want anyone to.

The masks and walls I have built are really the only things keeping me sane right now.

But enough of that.

I really can understand why people give up on me so easily.

I'm a lost cause.

I finally understand that now but the ache of pain is still there.

I'm not a monster.

I don't want to be known as a monster or a cold-hearted bastard.

But that's how I'm known everywhere.

People are actually afraid of me.

I know my glares are pretty scary.

And yeah, I normally wear a scowl but really, I can't help it.

I do want to change my self.

But so far I haven't even bothered.

I wish someone wouldn't give up on me.

I wish someone could see who I am beyond what I show to the world.

Behind a looking glass I know I'm a different person.

Through the looking glass, I'm really not so bad.


End file.
